Sincere Compliments

After reading the second chapter of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" my assignment is to find sincere ways to complement people around me and observe what happens.

A sincere compliment warrants a broad smile, looking in their eyes and saying "Thank you." Maybe "Thank you for noticing," "I am glad you like that," or "You are Welcome." Be confident that you are worthy of the compliment and more. And let that confidence allow you to share the compliment with others. Spread the joy you've received and compliment someone you know.

Every day I see my children, husband and the nanny. I rarely take the time to think about the great things that they all do. My children get the majority of my compliments. I am not practiced in complimenting my husband, I take him for granted. I pay my nanny, so I think that I am complimenting her every week. However, I know when I have complimented her, she brightens up and she enjoys being appreciated. She then thinks to do more things that she knows will make me happy. It's a positive momentum that is created when compliments are given and received.

It is going to take real effort on my part to make giving compliments a habit. I am accustomed to doing something big to show my appreciation. I know the little things can make as big a difference to people. I need to think about the positive things that the important people in my life give me.

The nanny does a great job playing with the kids and keeping them safe. The kids are learning a lot. She cooks us great meals. She keeps the house in order every day. She is expedient in her work. She does not need supervision and takes care of things the way I would. I have been thrilled with her. I can thank her for a specific thing she did. When I told her the meal yesterday was very good, she lit up.

My husband keeps our business on track. He spends a lot of time with the kids. He helps me with household items. He educates himself everyday. He thinks clearly with a purpose behind everything he says. He is an expert in rehabbing houses. He is passionate about his work. I enjoy spending every day with him.

People I meet throughout the day that I have little knowledge of need to be appreciated as well. The little things they do that I consider normal may be real efforts for them, so I should thank them. Everyone is busy. When I take the time to look at what people are doing for me and let them know I notice and appreciate it will make every person's day brighter.

Make it A Habit to Respect and Appreciate People

Last night I read the first chapter in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and now I need to write a plan on how to show people I do business with how much I respect their efforts and how to make that action a habit. There are two things I can do to show those around me that I appreciate and respect their efforts. First, I can be positive around them. Second, I can acknowledge the little positive and good things that others do.

First, there were a couple things that I loved in the chapter. Benjamin Franklin said, "I will speak ill of no man, and speak the good I know of everybody." This powerful choice can change the course of your day. There is no point in spreading hurtful words about others. Negative words and emotions will spread to others like a disease. Just stop the negative emotion, that is a choice we have. Move on to something positive that will spread good emotions to everyone around us, because that is what will come back to us. Making progress, being efficient, creating success comes from positive actions. By being positive and letting negative things go, I will be productive and motivating to those around me. That in turn will help them be productive and motivating. I want my business partners to be productive and motivating so our business succeeds and we all realize the rewards of our efforts. It would pain me to know any negative emotions I had contributed to the failure of their hard work.

The other message I loved was from the essay "Father Forgets" by W. Livingston Larned. A father criticizes his son during the day and the boy still goes to the father to hug him to show that he loves him and wants his approval at the end of the day. The father realizes then the disservice his has been doing to his son. We are only human, living our lives the best we know how. We all need guidance and help. Positive reinforcement is the most productive way to get people to do what we want. We all want to be appreciated for the contributions we make at work, with our family, friends, society. When we are rewarded for little things that we do, we feel like doing more of the same. If we are criticized, we become defensive and look for ways to blame others. Finding small things to appreciate is a great way to keep our environment positive. We can also realize that every small positive step is an important part of the path to great success.

Getting into the Swing of Things

Well, we've taken a week long vacation, after getting into a routine for a couple weeks. Now the struggle is to get back into the routine and schedule as quickly as possible. Working for yourself and dictating every task to make your business a success is a hard job. To motivate yourself, prioritize every aspect of the business, to grow the business, to maintain the business, to run the business daily is a lot for 1-2 people. That is where discipline and schedules come in as a necessity.

I'm a list maker and have started using my Google calendar as my main tool for tasks and appointments. What a great tool! I can have my business schedule, my partner's schedule (husband) and my personal schedule all together to make sure I fit everything in that needs to be done. I can allocate the right amount of time, so I don't overspend my time on any one project that doesn't warrant the extra effort. And when it's time to work on something else, my calendar lets me know. My partner can make sure I'm doing the tasks that need to be done. If something doesn't get done, I move it to a future day, so he knows when it will be done (or when it's scheduled to be done). I can add items to his calendar so that I'm reminding him and showing him what I've accomplished.

I've joined the RICH club and went to my first meeting for the women for RICH club. I was disappointed at the small turnout, but it's a start. It turns out I may be one of the 2 most experienced members of the women's group. I was expecting to be the low man on the totem pole and learn from others. For this new market, they have a lot of knowledge I don't, so we can all help each other, which is the point of the group. I'm hoping to reinforce the things I know by sharing my knowledge and to help remind myself of all the great tools we have and to use them.

The Secret - Robert Allen knew it?

Today the big craze is "The Secret." Watching Robert Allen 2 nights ago I found the same information from the "Secret" in the "Wealth System 2000" from 1991. Well, we all know (at least those of us whom watched the movie or read the book) that the "Secret" is really no secret, it's just a way of living everyday.

If each of us 10 times a day would:
1. Do what is important first
2. Keep focused on what we want to accomplish
3. Stay positive and push aside the "nay sayers"
4. Live for our purpose
We would live the secret, become great sales people, attract the things we want, thereby staying motivated and accomplishing more quickly, so much more.

Finding a purpose is essential to being able to accomplish goals. We can write down all kinds of goals, 1. become rich, 2. lose weight, 3. eat more healthily, 4. spend more quality time with the family, 5. get a sports car, 6. travel. So those goals are written, now what? Do those goals motivate you enough? No, you need your purpose to motivate you. So what is your purpose? Well, that can take some time to figure out. You may have an immediate purpose, to support your family, or no one eats next week. To get to work, or the mortgage won't get paid. Do you want to work until you die, or do you want to be able to take a year off to travel, spend time with the family? Your goal may be to travel and spend time with the family, but your purpose is then to provide a safe, secure surrounding for your family, because no one else will. And once you have that security, you can then live out those goals. The purpose you have is the foundation for the goals. With knowing your purpose, you can reach the goals more easily.

So I say to myself, "I need to provide a safe, secure environment for my family." How I do that is to provide a way for the daily expenses of my family to be paid for. Once those expenses are paid for without me working daily, I have time to be with my family. Once I provide for the daily expenses, I can work on providing for extra expenses, like travel.

Putting up pictures of goals can help you everyday see what it is that you want. We don't usually forget what we want, though. We do, however, tend to forget (or not think about the importance of) the underlying purpose for WHY we want that goal. The why can be as simple as FREEDOM. That feeling of waking up in the morning and knowing that you and your family are taken care of. That the day is yours, for whatever you have planned: more work, playing, education, volunteer work, etc. So, instead of placing a picture of Fiji on the fridge, you place a picture of your loving family playing together, or a picture that represents the volunteer work you want to do. To see the WHY everyday: your PURPOSE, can help keep you on track, keep you motivated, attract the WHY and the goals to your life.

Taking the plunge

When do you start? Taking the plunge from reader, watcher, or dreamer, to action taker, risk taker, getting your feet wet.



This is the step so many people have trouble with due to fears, financial limitations, or other people whispering in their ear (or screaming) "Don't do it, I know someone..." The truth is, that everyone can fail OR everyone can succeed! Too many times I have heard people say "That is not possible" or "It can't be done" but I'm here to tell you, everything is possible and YES it can be done.

Whether it's ourselves or someone else, "Get out of the way!" If you say in your head, "I can't do it" then get out of your head! If you say "But, what if..." get rid of your BUT!

If your friends say "Oh I wouldn't do that" then look at what they have and see if you like what they do for a living or the kind of income they have, or their spouse, or the food they eat. If you want exactly what they have, then listen to them and Don't do it. But, if on the other hand, you want something different than that friend, then Don't Listen to Them! They don't know how to get what you want.

If you keep doing what you are doing, you will continue to have the same results that you had yesterday. However, if you try something new, you will have new results! The saying "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" doesn't mean to keep doing the same thing over and over, it means, try one way, then another, then another, until it does work. And how great it would be to follow in someone's footsteps, to do what works, and not make mistake after mistake.